Tested

UNFORGIVENESS
   


Are you kidding me, I thought, as I walked toward the sand pit (now a pond) at Loch Haven Dog Park?  I was carrying a bottle of water which folded out into it’s own drinking container.  The park had just turned the water faucets back on since they didn’t expect any more freezing weather. Clean water everywhere and where was my Annie?  Standing in the middle of the filthy pond drinking the water during a brief break of splashing and playing with a blue pit puppy named Zena.

It was only Tuesday and it had already not been a good day. I called for her to come to me but she was having too much fun and simply ignored me, which only added to my frustration. So, off I marched to the pond and mud surrounding it. She just ran away whenever I approached to grab her collar.  She literally ran circles around me but managed to always return to the middle of the pond. I picked up a large branch to try to block her from getting around me.  Annie finally succumbed to my efforts and leash was successfully attached to collar.

I should have taken a picture of her for the site while filthy, but I was too mad.  Now, I had to take her home and give her a vigorous bath.  A large amount of dirt rinsed off her from the mixture of shampoo and Coconut oil I used in the tub. I dried her off, she went to her blanket on the couch, laid down, curled up, and contentedly went to sleep.  I wasn’t contented, I was still mad that night.

On Wednesday, I posted her on Craig’s List, Facebook, make a laminated flyer which I taped to the back of the bulletin board at Loch Haven Dog Park, and distributed flyers about rehoming her to six vet offices. I can’t help but think God got tired of me distributing the flyers, because I actually tripped over a dog in the middle of the entranceway at the fifth office.

I was walking in unforgiveness toward’s Annie and it felt horrible to hold that anger within me.  I’m sure it was no coincidence that the Freedom group class (which I co-lead) was on forgiveness.  I had spent all of Wednesday being the perfect example of how not to embrace it, how to harbor an offense deep in my heart, how to let that offense affect my behavior (and my future if someone taken me up on my offer to rehome Annie) to my detriment.

Fortunately, God didn’t open that door.  As I sit here on Thursday morning at 5:34, I’ve deleted the posting on both Craig’s List and Facebook.  I doubt anything will come of the flyers at the vets.  I’ll take the laminated one down when Annie and I get to the dog park about 8 o’clock this morning.  I’ve apologized to both God and Annie; and, thankfully, was immediately forgiven.

Psalm 32:1-11 (ESV)

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah ...




    
Unforgiveness